Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Labor Pains


My eldest child is quickly closing in on her 13th birthday. Though it's been over a decade since her birth, I still recall with a slight wince the labor pains I endured bringing her into this world. Being the stubborn child she is, she was three days past her due date. This may not sound like much, but to anyone who's gone even an hour past your due date, you know how miserable that is.

When she finally decided to make her appearance my labor began, most conveniently at midnight (sarcasm!). Fourteen difficult hours later she was born. What a relief when labor was over and I got to see her fat red face! In that moment of victory, I naively thought that was the end of my 'labor pains'.

Now in my 13th year of parenting, I have come to the dramatic conclusion that labor pains never stop. Just because you've been discharged from the hospital doesn't mean your labor has ended. To the contrary, it's only the beginning!

As a matter of fact, giving birth is a piece of cake compared to the day in and day out labor of raising a child. Am I right? Is this how God feels about us? I mean, he birthed us in the Garden that we might enjoy fellowship with Him. We lasted about a day and He's been laboring to redeem us ever since! (And He didn't even get an epidural!)

When the burden of raising godly children seems overwhelming, I need to know God is laboring right along with me. 1 Corinthians 1:20 reminds me of His faithfulness, "For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us." Now what does this have to do with raising kids? It means the Man's got a plan and He keeps all of His promises.

We don't need to become discouraged or impatient if we're not seeing the fruit of our labor right away. When we are holding tightly to Jesus, we can rest assured that every promise God made in scripture is true for us. I don't know about you, but this motivates me to stick close to the Word of God. I want those promises and I want them for my children. I want my kids to see Christ alive in me. I want them to see God's promises coming to fruition in our family.

Oh friend, God is the ultimate mid-wife! Are you laboring to raise children in the image of Christ? God is laboring with you. He is faithful and will see it come to pass. Keep close to Him and remember to take lots of deep breaths along the way.

The Highly Valuable but Extremely Underappreciated Mommy Play Date!

Before I became a mother, I knew little about children. Some might argue that after having three of my own, I still don’t know much about children! Nevertheless, 'pre-kiddos' I was footloose and fancy free. As a Development Director, I loved my job. I spent days on the phone with donors, lunching with friends, and joking around with co-workers. It's not that I didn't adore children, it's just that they never really entered my mind...until I had one...or two...or three.

Suddenly, my entire universe was altered! Like an astronaut landing on Mars, everything was strange and curiously exciting. Embarking on my new career, I embraced parenting as my new mission in life. I devoured books about babies and pondered articles on pre-schoolers. I was a mommy-machine!

Little did I realize, while I was busy getting kids on a schedule, covering electrical outlets and teaching my baby sign-language, I was draining myself of that ever-important daily intake of adult social interaction. That's right, my sudden fabulosity of "mommy-ness" was robbing me of my "me-ness".

A subtle depression began to set in. The endless days without showering and constant smell of spit-up were beginning to take their toll. What was wrong with me? I loved my kids. Mothering was to me, the highest calling in life. So what was the problem?

Finally, I realized I was suffering from baby-overdose, a common disease among young mothers. The cure? A healthy infusion of girl time was just what the doctor ordered. I sent up the bat signal and rallied the girlfriends for a night out. Come to find out, many of them were experiencing the same symptoms. We decided to meet regularly - sans kids - to laugh, compare stories and give ourselves time to remember who we were without diaper bags. It was awesome.

Those early years of parenting are stressful, crazy and fun. I can't imagine going through it without my friends. They were my support group during the terrible twos; my sanity when I was outnumbered by babies; and perhaps, most importantly, my self-assurance on those really hard days when I felt I’d failed.

Moms, don't underestimate the power of the Mommy Play Date. God’s Word says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their investment. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

We aren't meant to travel this road alone. There's a mom out there who needs you as much as you need her. When you feel down and need some encouragement, send up a flare and schedule some time just for you. It will make you a better you as well as a better mom!