Saturday, March 31, 2012

He Goes Before You

There are those we are familiar with in history who have faced great obstacles.  They overcame fear.  They marched forward with courage and left a legacy of bravery and hope.  Moses crossing the Red Sea with the Egyptians on his tail.  Abraham Lincoln abolishing slavery and facing a nation at war with itself.  John Glenn flying into space attempting to be the first man to walk on the moon.  Moms with daughters trying out for cheerleader. 

Okay, if you've ever had a child tryout for something then you agree that last sentence deserves to be included.  I'm not sure facing cheer tryouts is any less stressful than leading a nation to freedom or flying into outer space.  I'll bet there are some of you moms out there that could argue the week of cheer clinics and tryouts has a lot of similarities to a civil war.

This morning I sit on my back patio, relaxed and enjoying praise music and hot coffee, while some of my dearest friends are popping TUMS and praying their guts out while their daughters are at tryouts.  Mary Cate and I were in that boat this time last year and I've got the scars to prove it. 

As the Lord would have it, my devotional this morning was on Mark 14:28, Jesus said, "But after I have been raised, I will go before you to Galilee."  Jesus was trying to prepare his disciples for his crucifixion and resurrection.  He knew they would be scattered, terrified and confused upon his arrest and death.  He was telling them not to let their eyes fool them.  While they would see him die, that wasn't the end.  They would also see him live again.

Even though Jesus faced terrible torture and death, he was still concerned about his boys.  To comfort and encourage them, he said, "I'll meet you on the other side.  You are going to face fear and uncertainty but I'm going ahead of you.  I'll be there."  Is Jesus cool or what?!

God never sends you into a situation alone.  Just like He went before the Israelites with a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, so He goes before you.  God is never caught off guard by a situation that you face.  He's already there preparing the way.  He knows exactly what you need. 

Psalm 139:7-10 speaks the truth, "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths,a you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

Whatever you face today, know that Jesus is already there, in that moment.  He is present with you.  He is fully aware of what you are facing and what you need.  Whether you are facing angry Egyptians or a panel of cheer judges, rest assured God is with you.  He will never leave you.  (Just remember to point your toes and smile!)



Wednesday, March 14, 2012

How to Lose Your Self-Esteem in Just Three Days - Part III















I had to stop by the market on the way home. I walked in and saw the choice that lay before me. To one side was a wall of wine bottles. To the other was the cookie aisle. Which would be my comfort? I went with the cookies. I grabbed a package of chocolate cream Oreos and checked out. I got to my car, started the engine and ripped open the package. With each bite on the drive home, tears rolled down my cheeks. What was it with me and skiing? I really tried to master this sport which seemed to come so easily to everyone but me.

Pity party anyone? This party was a doozy. Poor me. Poor pitiful me. Poor, poor, sad, pitiful me. I know there are starving children in Africa. But at this point, in this moment, I was all that mattered. Horrible, right? This truth made me feel even worse.

I got home, took a hot shower and went to bed. Rest was what I needed. A deep sleep enveloped me. Two hours later, I was stubbornly awakened by my cell phone ringing over and over again. Who was calling? Why did they need to talk to me so badly? Then I remembered where I was and that my husband and kids were still on that hateful mountain. In my groggy haze, I answered to hear Chris say my son, Jack, had broken his arm. This was unbelievable. If the mountain wants to take me out, fine. But now it was going after my boy.

When I got to him, my sweet Jack, was in terrible pain. The paramedics at the mountain were wonderful. They gave him an IV with some fluids and pain reliever. They ended up having to sedate him and reset his arm. He was so brave.

So what is the moral of this long, painful story? What is the spiritual lesson I always pull from my life experiences? I have to be honest here. I'm not sure yet. Sometimes you have to let a little time pass between you and the painful experience in order to see God in it. I've shared this story with a lot of humor in my voice. I think laughter is a great pain reliever.

I'm writing this morning from the comfort of a recliner in our house in Angel Fire. I've got a cup of hot coffee. I'm still in my pj's. I've got a heating pad on my backside and ice on my knee. My son is drugged up and feeling no pain. In other words, we're okay. We survived the mountain once again. As I sit from the safety of the indoors I can look out on the glorious beauty that is God's handiwork. I tip my hat to the mountain. I reaffirm my pact to never step foot, nor ski, on her again. So to all my crazy friends who find skiing enjoyable I say to you, "Go in good health." If you need me, I'll be in the lodge.

How to Lose Your Self-Esteem in Just Three Days - Part II

Part II:

With my newfound confidence I was standing with my family and friends at the bottom of the run, getting ready to enter the lift line when a teenage snowboarder literally plowed into me at full speed. Had I been a concrete pillar standing there, the boy would have taken quite a hit. As I am not a concrete pillar, I was thrown into the air with his snowboard cutting across the back of my right thigh. I laid in a heap as people gathered around, some to stare at the old woman in a heap, some to offer assistance to the old woman in a heap.

That was day one.

Day Two: I respected the mountain and stayed off.

Day Three: My kids had taken to snowboarding like fish to water. Once again, I was lured by the beauty of the mountain and decided to give it another go, even with the softball size bruise on my hindquarters. My plan was simple. I would stick to the bunny slope for the morning; show my group that I'm a gamer and peacefully retire to the picnic area at the base for the remainder of the afternoon. After one stable run on the bunny, my husband coerced me to take the Chile Express lift and ski a green with his constant protection and supervision. Can you hear the mountain's lure? Can you hear the wicked laughter wafting through the mountain winds?

I started out strong, pizza wedging all the way. The scenery was beautiful. My fear was stabelized for the moment. About halfway down there came a couple of steep turns. This was the beginning of the end of all my self-esteem.

I fell. Chris helped me up. I fell. Chris tried to help me up and we both slid a ways. I fell and twisted my knee. Each time I fell on my bruised back side aggrevating not only the injury but my weary self-respect. Let me say now that I am not a big cryer. I'm pretty sure I've cried more these two ski days than I have in the past year collectively.

When we made it to the bottom of the mountain I was also at the bottom of my hope. I was holding my skiis, Chris had my poles and asked, "What do you want me to do with these?" There was only one appropriate response, "Drive them through my heart.", I said. I gathered my belongings, returned them to the rental place and took my seat on the shuttle back to my car.





How to Lose Your Self-Esteem in Just Three Days

This is a three part story.  I hope you'll stick with me to the bitter end. :-)
Part I:
Let me see if I can explain this story to you in a way that you will understand the depths to which my spirit has sunk.  It all started about six months ago.  My life-long snow skiing husband decided this would be the year to take the kids snow skiing for the first time.  In theory I agreed with this idea.  However, there is a back story that must be told. 

During Christmas break my junior year of  high school I went on a youth ski trip.  This was my first exposure to what would become a sport which I despised, loathed and hated.  After a half day of ski lessons, my dearest and best friend, Marian (yes, Marian, I am calling you out! :-)) , said I didn't need anymore lessons.  She would take me down the mountain.  When we got to the top, the green slope we had planned to take had been closed and we were forced to descend a black diamond.  Three terrifying hours later I made it to the bottom, still alive by the grace of God.  I got on the bus which had been waiting on me and received cheers of applaud from my peers.  Their joy at my still being alive made no dent in my shattered confidence. 

It was then and there that I made an agreement with mountains.  I would not attempt to ski on them and they would not try to kill me.  It is a pact which has served me well these past 30 years.

So here I am actually entertaining the idea of subjecting my children to this vile and dangerous sport.  Nevertheless, as I have many friends who ski often and live to tell about it (their sanity I now call into question), I agreed to the trip.

We arrived in Angel Fire, NM earlier this week.  The weather was warm, the children excited and the snow deceptively beautiful.  As we are traveling with dear friends, who also ski, I gave into my family and friends encouragement to give skiing another try.  I enrolled in lessons.  With acid churning in my stomach, I attended the brief class and went down the bunny slope with my instructor.  Let me just say now that it goes from bad to worse.

I fell getting off the ski lift; I fell going down the first slope (with my instructor and classmates yelling, "pizza wedge! pizza wedge!".  As if this were not enough warning from the mountain, I agreed to go again this time with my kids and husband.  After a couple of runs (still on the bunny slope, mind you) the mountain let me think I was getting the hang of it.  In retrospect I see that it was just toiling with me, luring me into it's web of death.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Lent: It's more than giving up chocolate

Growing up Baptist, I never knew what Lent was. I had always associated Lent with the stuff you cleaned out of the dryer filter or the fuzzy stuff found in a belly button.  My friends at school who were Catholic seemed to talk about eating fish more often around Lent but I could never see what fish and dryer filters had to do with one another.

As an adult I learned that Lent was the forty days leading up to Easter and people gave up something they really liked during this time.  Since joining Facebook a few years ago I see lots of people sharing that they have given up chocolate or wine but the meaning and origin of Lent remained a mystery to me until recently.

Fun Fact: Did you know that Lent comes from an Old English word that means lengthen, signifying that the days are getting longer because Spring is here?  In her book, Treasuring God in Our Traditions, Noel Piper says, "Traditionally Lent is a season of sober, realistic reflection on our own lives and our need for a Savior.  It is a time for turning away from anything that has kept us from God and for turning or returning to him.  It is a time to pray that God renew our love for him and our dependence on him."

In light of this explanation, I've got to tell you, I don't think chocolate keeps me from God.  I think it's a little less to do with cocoa beans and more to do with my sinful and lazy nature.  When we joined a Methodist church a few years ago, Ellie came home from Sunday School and announced that for Lent, she was going to give up asking for a puppy.  Very admirable but still not sure we understood the deeper point.

This year at our Ash Wednesday service, which has become one of my favorite nights of the year, our pastor, Jim Leggett, explained Lent to us this way. What do you want to trust God for over the next 40 days?  What will be different 40 days from now?  What is in our lives that needs to die to Christ (sinful habits, sickness, injustice)?  What is dead in our lives that Christ would want to resurrect (our marriage, intimacy with God, hope)? 

Hear me say that giving something up for Lent can be useful and beautiful but only if we are truly using this fast to intentionally draw closer to God.  Lent is not meant to be a cultural ritual but a conduit to a Holy God.  Too many Easter Sunday's have crept up on me and I find myself in a new dress and shoes but a heart that is utterly unprepared for the greatest holiday of the year.

This time of year is about setting ourselves apart from our everyday routines in order to experience the brevity of what Christ's death and resurrection mean for us personally.

Friends, let us give ourselves truly to God this Lenten season.  Let us ask God to examine our hearts and give him permission to crucify or resurrect those areas of our lives as he sees fit.  Then on Easter Sunday we will come worshipping together in a glorious celebration of all that God has done for us through the Cross.