Boundary Lines

My son, Jack, has become obsessed with football in the past year. He loves to go in the front yard with my husband, Chris, and play quarterback. There are two things Jack always asks when getting ready to play a game. 1. Where's the football? 2. Where are the boundary lines? It's important to know the boundaries of the playing field so you'll know when you're about to step out of bounds. It's also important so you'll know when you've scored a touchdown.

Our sons crave boundaries. It may seem like they don't, but they do. Have you ever noticed your son and his friends making up new games and they spend half the time deciding what the rules are going to be? Proverbs 29:17 says, "Correct your son, and he will give you rest. Yes, he will be a delight to your soul." Aaaaah, that sounds good, doesn't it? Here's the question of the day: Is your son a delight to your soul? If not, it could be because he's longing for boundaries that you have yet to set or enforce.

When teaching our sons to be accountable, we need to make our expectations clear then establish concrete consequences for not following those expectations. Without clear boundaries and the enforcement of them, our sons can become unaccountable in their adult lives and find themselves in great distress.

Boys need to know they are accountable to parents, teachers, coaches, other adults and to God. Left to their own devices, boys will make up their own set of rules and has anyone read the book, "Lord of the Flies"? Scary! Boys must learn from an early age that mom won't bail them out when they have broken the boundary lines. They must see there are positive and negative consequences for their actions.

An unknown author said, "A child that is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents will not have true respect for anyone." I think deep down we, as mothers, know this is true. Yet we can sometimes struggle with rule enforcement when our precious little boys look up at us with those sweet eyes. Stand strong for the sake of your son!

If you want a son who is truly at peace, then show him clearly where the boundary lines are and blow the whistle when he steps out of those bounds. Soon he'll learn how to play within them and he'll be running straight toward the goal line instead.

Tamara Lowe at Christ Fellowship

A Model of Womanhood

Do you have dreams for your son? As mothers, we all have dreams of what our little boys will become. We imagine what their lives will look like as adults, who they may marry, what kind of fathers they will be. I dream of my son marrying the perfect woman. She will hang on his every word, laugh at all of his jokes, listen carefully when he shares his heart, comfort him when he is down. More than anything else, she will love God with all that she is. She will seek to serve her family in honor to her Savior. Not bad, huh?

As I was enjoying this daydream one morning, God woke me up with this truth: I, as Jack's mother, am the model of womanhood to my son. "WHAT?!", I said to God, "I'm just his mother". I'm here to tell him what to look for in a woman. I'm here to prepare him to be a good and father. How scary to think that I am his introduction to what women are all about!

When Jack is grown and starts to ponder marriage, he'll make a mental inventory of what he's looking for in a wife. I am that first woman against which womanhood is measured. Will he remember a mother who was tender and loving? A mom who made home a happy and peaceful place to be? Or will he, heaven forbid, have memories of a harsh woman who was too busy with her own life to make time for him?

My goal is not to get my son to marry someone just like me. The goal is to leave him with a favorable impression of women. God makes amazing, loving, courageous women in all shapes and sizes. We just want to be sure we place women in a positive light for our sons. We need to show our sons that we enjoy being women.

Boys need to see their moms as women who honor their husbands; nurture their children; and are at peace with themselves and God. I love being a wife and mother. I've got my hard days, no question, but overall I am very grateful for the privilege of these two titles. I want my son to value a woman who also loves family and all the craziness that goes with that.

So dream on, moms. But as you dream, make sure you are living in the reality of the important role you play. "Her children arise and call her blessed..." Proverbs 31:28.