The Heart of the Matter

Last night our family had the privilege of participating in a unique worship experience at our church. It was an intimate worship service directed solely at God, and led by children. My son, Jack, served as a prayer leader. My eldest daughter, Mary Catherine, served as a worship leader. This experience was absolutely remarkable to me as I got to witness, first hand, my children being led by the Holy Spirit and serving the Lord with such purity of heart.

Children leading adults in worship to God! What a concept! Oddly, as I was worshipping and observing all of this I suddenly heard the words of Don Henley in my head, "I been tryin' to get down, to the heart of the matter." I guess God can speak through Don Henley as well as He can through anyone else. It was as though the Lord was reminding me that I need to be concerned with training my children's hearts and not just their behavior. When their hearts are in tune with God, it's such a beautiful thing!

1 Samuel 16:7, "For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart." Much of the time, I have to admit, I am more concerned with the outward appearance of my children. Seems I frequently remind them to watch their words, mind their manners, straighten up and fly right. What I really mean is, 'Whatever you do don't embarrass me'! (ha!) However, God makes it clear in His Word that it's the heart condition that matters most to Him not the outward appearance.

What matters most, what really counts, is reaching the heart of our children and not just controlling behavior. Behavior is affected by what's in the heart. This is true in my own life. When my heart is connected to God in relationship with Him, it directly affects my decisions and my behavior.

Mark 7:21 states: " . . . from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly." Yikes, do you see that all of these aweful things begin in a persons heart before they make their way to the outward behavior?

What our children say and do is a reflection of what is in their hearts. Again, Luke 6:45 corroborates this point: "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."

Outward behavior is the itch we're constantly wanting to scratch but we can't let it sidetrack us and stop there. When children argue over who sits where in the car, it's not about seating. It's about selfishness and pride. Our natural state is prideful and self-centered.

As family author, Ted Tripp says, "You must learn to work from the behavior you see back to the heart, exposing heart issues for your children. In short, you must learn to engage them, not just reprove them. Help them to see the ways that they are trying to quench their souls' thirst with that which cannot satisfy. You must help your kids gain a clear focus on the cross of Christ."

This topic may seem a little vague but I hope not. This is where we really get down to building up children in the true image of Christ! Of those who were seemingly "good" on the outside, Jesus saw right through, "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me." Moms, let us raise a generation of children who truly honor God with their hearts as well as their lips!

The Mother's Union

Most people would agree that being a mother is the hardest job. If this is so, then shouldn't we form a union of some sort? Miners, airline pilots, and automobile workers have unions. Why don't we? We've got the toughest jobs around. We're on call 24/7. We could demand days off or at least get some special benefits, like monthly pedicures.

The problem is, what would we do if our demands were not met? I guess we could go on strike but the fallout would be catastrophic. Let's face it, the world can't function without mom.

The Bible puts a lot of importance on the role of mothers, particularly mothers raising sons. There are numerous examples in scripture of mothers inspiring their sons to follow after God. These men went on to do amazing feats that had eternal impact.

Yes, raising boys is tough. It's not for the faint of heart. To make great men takes boldness and courage. We live in a world where men are in crisis. They are abandoning their commitments to family and marriage. Men are abdicating their roles as leaders in their communities and even their country.

Proverbs 22:6 speaks to us, "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." In this verse, "train up" is translated as "to dedicate". Sons need their moms to be dedicated to this most important of jobs. The world works hard to distract us from our primary calling. The world lures us into high levels of busyness and stress that would call us away from our dedication to our sons.

Of course, all of us would say we are dedicated. We feed their bellies. We clothe their backs. We drive them all over kingdom come to their various activities. Is this what Proverbs is talking about? I don't think so. The kind of dedication God calls us to goes far deeper than physical provisions.

The moment you deliver that sweet baby boy, you receive a charge from the Lord to raise that son according to God's ways. There is a crisis in America today because parents have misplaced their dedication. Too many are dedicated to raising sons in the ways of money, power, and self. What about a dedication to raising sons for true greatness? Servant leadership? What about responsibility, integrity, courage? This takes more dedication than the world would have you take on.

I love this quote from Rick Johnson, author of That's My Son, 'The power of a mother's influence is like a steady river carving canyons through the landscape of history. The legacy you leave as the teacher and nurturer of the next generation of men is valuable beyond description.'

Yes, our job is the toughest and the most meaningful. We tuck in the future of the world every night. The question I ask you is: are you ready to accept your divine calling and join a union of mothers dedicated to raising a great generation of strong men? There is a profound call on your life if you are raising a son. Let's form a union of mothers who are dedicated to raising our sons in the image of God and when they are grown they will not depart from it.

Then we can go get that pedicure!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

You know the song but is it a reality in your house?? Moms, we gotta teach our boys (and girls) "a little respect when they get home"! Boys need desperately to be taught to respect women - of all ages. This can be hard to do in a society where all too often women do not respect themselves and their dress code (or lack thereof) reflects that. You get my drift?

Boys need to open doors, carry in the groceries, take out the trash and watch their language. This is not because women are the 'weaker' sex but rather because women, according to GOD, deserve to be honored and cherished. Moms, even your own sons need to honor and cherish you. If they do not honor and cherish their own mothers how can we expect them to honor and cherish their teachers, professors, employers and most importantly, their wives and daughters?

Chris has done a great job of teaching our son, Jack, to honor women. Whenever we are together, Jack opens my car door (yes, at the young age of 10!). As we enter a store, he tells me, "Mom, don't touch that door." He accompanied me to the grocery store a couple of weeks ago. When we reached the car with our basket of groceries, he said, "Mom, you can go ahead and get in, I've got these."

When Jack does this I immediately say, "Jack, that's exactly how a man would act." We've got to put 'manhood' in a positive light. Too often, television/media put 'manhood' in a negative light. Have you heard the phrase, "That's just like a man!" We need to turn that around and show our sons that manhood is something to be proud of.

An unknown author said, "Every gentleman is a man, but not every man is a gentleman." How true. How true. Let's gently but firmly teach our boys to be proud of opening the door for us. Let's be the cheering section when they say, "Yes, ma'am." As courtesy and respect manifest themselves in areas of his life, we'll see them become lifelong habits and someday a young lady will greatly appreciate our investment.

For those of you who have daughters, I hope you are teaching them to only date men who first- love Jesus, and; secondly- have impeccable manners. You would never let your daughter go out with a boy who honks his car in front of your house beckoning her to come out! Never! Moms, our sons will be those boys someday unless we teach them better.

Boys need to not only be taught how to respect women but also how to love them. Talk to your son about what is important to women and what things cause them pain. Teach them to treasure women. Teach them that women are of great value and should be treated with gentleness and respect.

When it comes to the big R-E-S-P-E-C-T, my son knows just 'what it means to me'. He's learning how to 'sock it to me' with incredible manners and love. Let's rock it out together and raise a generation of men who master the lost art of dignity and respect!