I’d Be Such A Good Mom If It Weren’t For My Kids!

“I’d be such a good mom if it weren’t for my kids!” This is what I was thinking this afternoon when I was trying to respond to a friend’s email. My friend’s father-in-law had gone to the ER and was in need of prayer. I only needed to look up one scripture of encouragement but my kids were screaming at each other. One asking for help with homework they should have known how to do, and another was crying from the bathroom that they needed more toilet paper. Ugh! One simple email. How hard could this be?! Here I was trying to minister to a friend in need but I was distracted by my rambunctious attention-seeking children.

Unable to finish the email, I found myself responding to my children in a voice which was not very ministerial. I was not answering my children in that pastoral, prayerful, godly woman way that I know to be right; in the voice that is easy to use when they’re acting like precious cherubs. No, I answered them in a quite different voice; my stressed out, had-it-up-to-here voice. I’m pretty sure my neighbor was in his front yard at the time as well so he got to experience the voice too. Just icing on the cake!

I wonder, what is it about parenting that turns me into a person I do not want to be? In my mind I have these wonderful dreams of how I want to raise my children. I love them with all of my heart and I don’t know what I would do without them. I know the kind of people I want them to become. I have such godly ideas of how to raise them. I want to teach them to trust in God’s Word, to believe in God’s Son, to serve Him with all their heart.

Yet sometimes when they are not acting like the precious cherubs they are, I lose those ideals. I suddenly become a completely different person when I hear one of them say for the 43rd time, “But, mommy, why can’t I have the cookie for breakfast?” In those moments I am not thinking of how I can build their character. I am thinking, “How can I get to the airport and on a flight to Jamaica before anyone misses me?”

Can anyone relate to me? I have dozens of wonderful parenting books that I’ve actually read. Children’s scripture cards and a thousand family devotional books line my bookshelves while chore charts and stickers stand at the ready on my countertop. And I’ve got the jar full of fuzzy balls for good behavior. But what I don’t have, at 9 a.m. on the first day of summer vacation while listening to their third argument of the day, is perspective.

When the strife passes and the dust settles I sense God revealing three important lessons to me:

First, God reminds me not only am I raising my children but in a sense they are raising me. My children are having a refining effect on me. I am not the same person I was ten years ago before my first child was born. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still selfish, but less selfish. I still have a temper, but I am slower to lose it. I’m still impatient, but more patient than I was. God is using my kids to help make me a great mom. All of the struggles, the stress, and strain of raising children serve a wonderful purpose in my life by helping me become more like Christ.

Second, as my email reply sits on my computer screen waiting to be sent, I am also reminded that my children are my primary ministry. When I became a mom I went into full time vocational ministry. I may not get paid for it or go to seminary to get a master’s degree in it, but it is full time ministry nonetheless. In a world that largely overlooks the great achievements of mothers, it’s easy to overlook my primary calling. I am reminded there is no mission more important than training the heart of a child.

Finally, I’m reminded that the enemy can use even a precious child of God to distract and discourage me. Once I respond to my children in the wrong way, the enemy immediately hones in on my guilt and the condemnation begins. Not only that, but he can use my misspoken words to discourage my children as well. As mothers, we must really learn to live out 1 Thessalonians 5:17, to pray continually. We must fall on the grace of Christ daily, sometimes moment by moment. God’s grace is always there to meet us in our time of need. By the power of the Holy Spirit we can overcome anger, discouragement, and even the terrible two’s!

I’m thankful for these lessons today. I’m thankful that God has a sense of humor and is so clever to teach me through a simple email. I’m grateful that my Heavenly Parent hasn’t taken an escape flight to Jamaica when I act like a disobedient toot. I’m grateful that He sustains me on those long summer days when the kids have had enough of each other and I’ve had enough of them. In the end the email got sent, the prayer for the father-in-law took place, and most importantly, the kid in the bathroom got his toilet paper from a mother who was happy to help.