R-E-S-P-E-C-T

You know the song but is it a reality in your house?? Moms, we gotta teach our boys (and girls) "a little respect when they get home"! Boys need desperately to be taught to respect women - of all ages. This can be hard to do in a society where all too often women do not respect themselves and their dress code (or lack thereof) reflects that. You get my drift?

Boys need to open doors, carry in the groceries, take out the trash and watch their language. This is not because women are the 'weaker' sex but rather because women, according to GOD, deserve to be honored and cherished. Moms, even your own sons need to honor and cherish you. If they do not honor and cherish their own mothers how can we expect them to honor and cherish their teachers, professors, employers and most importantly, their wives and daughters?

Chris has done a great job of teaching our son, Jack, to honor women. Whenever we are together, Jack opens my car door (yes, at the young age of 10!). As we enter a store, he tells me, "Mom, don't touch that door." He accompanied me to the grocery store a couple of weeks ago. When we reached the car with our basket of groceries, he said, "Mom, you can go ahead and get in, I've got these."

When Jack does this I immediately say, "Jack, that's exactly how a man would act." We've got to put 'manhood' in a positive light. Too often, television/media put 'manhood' in a negative light. Have you heard the phrase, "That's just like a man!" We need to turn that around and show our sons that manhood is something to be proud of.

An unknown author said, "Every gentleman is a man, but not every man is a gentleman." How true. How true. Let's gently but firmly teach our boys to be proud of opening the door for us. Let's be the cheering section when they say, "Yes, ma'am." As courtesy and respect manifest themselves in areas of his life, we'll see them become lifelong habits and someday a young lady will greatly appreciate our investment.

For those of you who have daughters, I hope you are teaching them to only date men who first- love Jesus, and; secondly- have impeccable manners. You would never let your daughter go out with a boy who honks his car in front of your house beckoning her to come out! Never! Moms, our sons will be those boys someday unless we teach them better.

Boys need to not only be taught how to respect women but also how to love them. Talk to your son about what is important to women and what things cause them pain. Teach them to treasure women. Teach them that women are of great value and should be treated with gentleness and respect.

When it comes to the big R-E-S-P-E-C-T, my son knows just 'what it means to me'. He's learning how to 'sock it to me' with incredible manners and love. Let's rock it out together and raise a generation of men who master the lost art of dignity and respect!

Wake Up, Mom!

I'm going to be talking a lot on this blog about raising our sons to be godly men in a very ungodly world. Today I want to start with a wake up call. Mothers, it's time for us to wake up and realize the porn problem facing our boys. Boys at younger and younger ages are being exposed to pornography. We can no longer afford to stick our head in the sand and deny it could ever happen to our son.


Get This:
* In the course of a year, the average adolescent will see nearly 14,000 sexual images.
* Playboy magazine recently announced it will offer galleries of photographs that can be viewed on digital media players. It's to be called "Ibod".
* Porn is also on its way to cell phones. A Boston-based research firm said the mobile adult-services market would reach five billion dollars by 2010.
* 70% of teens get their information about sex from the media.
* When it comes to media access, teens log almost as many hours as the average adult in their full-time job.
* Teens spend over six hours a day engaged with some type of media and more than a quarter of that time they are using more than one media device, it's called "media multitasking".
* Kids' rooms have increasingly become multimedia centers, with 2/3 saying they have televisions in their rooms; half report having video game players; 54% have DVD players and 20% have a computer with internet access IN THEIR ROOMS!
* More than half the children said their families have no rules about watching TV.
* Another 46% say they have rules but 20% say the rules are only inforced "most" of the time.

I could share a lot more bad news but I'm afraid it would be too overwhelming. The truth is, unless we move to a commune in the middle of the wilderness, we cannot completely shield our sons from the world of porn/sexual imagery. I also hate to break it to those of you who homeschool or do Christian school, but your boys are not completely protected either.

What hope do we have? Plenty but we must remember we are still the parent! Here are some suggestions:
* Draw boundaries such as blocking access to MTV
* Do not allow your son to see a movie you have not prescreened. We check out movies on Screenit.com.
* Do not allow your son to watch shows that model worldly dating (even some of the Disney shows are starting to do this as their stars are growing up).
* Do explain to your son the "why" behind the rules.
* Do be purposeful in exposing the agenda of the media.
* Do point to the fallout and long-term consequences associated with it.
* DO NOT let your son get a hold of your Victoria's Secret catalogue or even buy him a Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders calendar. All of this is just soft porn and an introduction to harder things. Also, these things do not help your son to view women as people but rather as objects.
* DO NOT let your son have media in his room...EVER. Help your son by keeping the television and computer in an open and busy place in the house. Do not put the responsibility on him to choose what is right when he's not ready. Make sense?

These stats were taken from Vicki Courtney's book, "Your Boy". I recommend this book as well as Stephen Arterburn's book, "Preparing Your Son for Every Man's Battle".

I know this blog today sounds preachy and very serious but there's no way around it. Too many parents are too lazy or too busy to properly protect their sons. It's having a powerful impact on our society. There is help and there is hope. God is on our side, moms! Let's do it!

Boundary Lines

My son, Jack, has become obsessed with football in the past year. He loves to go in the front yard with my husband, Chris, and play quarterback. There are two things Jack always asks when getting ready to play a game. 1. Where's the football? 2. Where are the boundary lines? It's important to know the boundaries of the playing field so you'll know when you're about to step out of bounds. It's also important so you'll know when you've scored a touchdown.

Our sons crave boundaries. It may seem like they don't, but they do. Have you ever noticed your son and his friends making up new games and they spend half the time deciding what the rules are going to be? Proverbs 29:17 says, "Correct your son, and he will give you rest. Yes, he will be a delight to your soul." Aaaaah, that sounds good, doesn't it? Here's the question of the day: Is your son a delight to your soul? If not, it could be because he's longing for boundaries that you have yet to set or enforce.

When teaching our sons to be accountable, we need to make our expectations clear then establish concrete consequences for not following those expectations. Without clear boundaries and the enforcement of them, our sons can become unaccountable in their adult lives and find themselves in great distress.

Boys need to know they are accountable to parents, teachers, coaches, other adults and to God. Left to their own devices, boys will make up their own set of rules and has anyone read the book, "Lord of the Flies"? Scary! Boys must learn from an early age that mom won't bail them out when they have broken the boundary lines. They must see there are positive and negative consequences for their actions.

An unknown author said, "A child that is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents will not have true respect for anyone." I think deep down we, as mothers, know this is true. Yet we can sometimes struggle with rule enforcement when our precious little boys look up at us with those sweet eyes. Stand strong for the sake of your son!

If you want a son who is truly at peace, then show him clearly where the boundary lines are and blow the whistle when he steps out of those bounds. Soon he'll learn how to play within them and he'll be running straight toward the goal line instead.

A Model of Womanhood

Do you have dreams for your son? As mothers, we all have dreams of what our little boys will become. We imagine what their lives will look like as adults, who they may marry, what kind of fathers they will be. I dream of my son marrying the perfect woman. She will hang on his every word, laugh at all of his jokes, listen carefully when he shares his heart, comfort him when he is down. More than anything else, she will love God with all that she is. She will seek to serve her family in honor to her Savior. Not bad, huh?

As I was enjoying this daydream one morning, God woke me up with this truth: I, as Jack's mother, am the model of womanhood to my son. "WHAT?!", I said to God, "I'm just his mother". I'm here to tell him what to look for in a woman. I'm here to prepare him to be a good and father. How scary to think that I am his introduction to what women are all about!

When Jack is grown and starts to ponder marriage, he'll make a mental inventory of what he's looking for in a wife. I am that first woman against which womanhood is measured. Will he remember a mother who was tender and loving? A mom who made home a happy and peaceful place to be? Or will he, heaven forbid, have memories of a harsh woman who was too busy with her own life to make time for him?

My goal is not to get my son to marry someone just like me. The goal is to leave him with a favorable impression of women. God makes amazing, loving, courageous women in all shapes and sizes. We just want to be sure we place women in a positive light for our sons. We need to show our sons that we enjoy being women.

Boys need to see their moms as women who honor their husbands; nurture their children; and are at peace with themselves and God. I love being a wife and mother. I've got my hard days, no question, but overall I am very grateful for the privilege of these two titles. I want my son to value a woman who also loves family and all the craziness that goes with that.

So dream on, moms. But as you dream, make sure you are living in the reality of the important role you play. "Her children arise and call her blessed..." Proverbs 31:28.

Where Do I Begin?

So we have a son. He's bright, energetic and full of potential. Now what? How do I take this boy with all of life ahead and help him, in the words of the Marines, 'be all that he can be'?

Here's my supply list:I've got a wonderful husband who is an exceptional father - a necessity and yet a bonus in this day and age. We've got a roof over our heads, food on the table, the right sports training, piano teacher, good school, church involvement. What am I missing?

To start growing a good boy into a godly man I believe the first step is to plant our knees firmly in the carpet and pray. Too often, prayer is our last resort. You've heard people say, "Well, I guess all we can do now is pray." Yikes! Prayer should be the first priority of every mother.

We, as moms, are quite amazing, if I do say so myself. However, even in all our greatness, we cannot do it alone. We need supernatural help. All too often we don't take prayer seriously. It's something we do at church, funerals, and hospitals. It's not something we often think of doing in any and all circumstances. Yet, it's the most effective and powerful thing we can do for our children. Do you agree?

Jesus says, "Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven" (Matt. 18:18). That means we have been given authority by God to affect change. Through God's power we can be vessels through which His power comes to bear on our children. Make sense?

We don't have to be pastors or perfect people to pray. We have authority as the parents of our children to call upon God on their behalf. As we draw closer to God we will draw God's presence closer to our children. "The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much" (James 5:16).

A tool that has helped me pray as a mom has been Stormie Omartian's The Power of a Praying Parent. In this book, she has taken scripture and turned them into powerful prayers. Some of the topics she covers include: protection & healing, honoring parents & authority, feeling loved and accepted, loving God with all their heart, establishing healthy friendships, future spouse, purity & freedom from addictions, exercising humility. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

I've had this book for six years. I write the date next to each prayer and I hope that when they're grown and I'm gone, my kids will find this book and see how earnestly I prayed for them. When they look back on their childhood they can say their parents provided food, clothing, a loving home and various educational/social opportunities.

More than any of these, I want it to be obvious by observing their lives that they had a mom who prayed. For our sons to become truly great men, we must bring them before the throne of God each and every day. We must entrust them to a loving Savior who can do "exceedingly, abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine" (Eph. 3:20). I am convinced that's the greatest thing a mother can do.

Do you believe in the power of prayer? Have you seen this in your own life? What has helped you in praying for your kids? Share with us!

Raising Good Boys into Godly Men

I have the extreme privelege of being mother to a son. My son amazes me. He makes me proud. He gives great hugs. He tells funny jokes. He also has the occassional ability of making me want to pull my hair out. Building a man out of a boy can be challenging (understatement!).

One of the topics you'll frequently see me writing about is raising boys. Our world is lacking strong male leadership...godly leadership. Culture has turned against strong men in the past few decades and I believe many of them struggle with their role in today's society. Between a lack of positive male role models and an over abundance of sexually charged messages, what chance do our boys have of knowing what true manhood looks like?

I believe God has placed a passion in my heart to help moms & dads pick up the reigns of parenthood with confidence. We can't leave it up to chance or television or our kid's friends to direct our boys. Studies show that parents are the most influential voice in the decisions of their children. It's our responsibility before God to invest in the next generation of men.

Will you join me???

Some of the topics I'll be sharing include:
* Good communication with your son
* Get over it and talk to him about sex
* Letting go
* Disciplining boys
* Modeling womanhood so he'll know what to look for/stay away from
* When dad's not available
* Virtues of a real man
* For heaven's sake keep the TV and internet OUT of his room!
* Praying for your boy

So stay tuned cause I've got my soap box and I'm not afraid to use it! :-)