The Mother's Union

Most people would agree that being a mother is the hardest job. If this is so, then shouldn't we form a union of some sort? Miners, airline pilots, and automobile workers have unions. Why don't we? We've got the toughest jobs around. We're on call 24/7. We could demand days off or at least get some special benefits, like monthly pedicures.

The problem is, what would we do if our demands were not met? I guess we could go on strike but the fallout would be catastrophic. Let's face it, the world can't function without mom.

The Bible puts a lot of importance on the role of mothers, particularly mothers raising sons. There are numerous examples in scripture of mothers inspiring their sons to follow after God. These men went on to do amazing feats that had eternal impact.

Yes, raising boys is tough. It's not for the faint of heart. To make great men takes boldness and courage. We live in a world where men are in crisis. They are abandoning their commitments to family and marriage. Men are abdicating their roles as leaders in their communities and even their country.

Proverbs 22:6 speaks to us, "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." In this verse, "train up" is translated as "to dedicate". Sons need their moms to be dedicated to this most important of jobs. The world works hard to distract us from our primary calling. The world lures us into high levels of busyness and stress that would call us away from our dedication to our sons.

Of course, all of us would say we are dedicated. We feed their bellies. We clothe their backs. We drive them all over kingdom come to their various activities. Is this what Proverbs is talking about? I don't think so. The kind of dedication God calls us to goes far deeper than physical provisions.

The moment you deliver that sweet baby boy, you receive a charge from the Lord to raise that son according to God's ways. There is a crisis in America today because parents have misplaced their dedication. Too many are dedicated to raising sons in the ways of money, power, and self. What about a dedication to raising sons for true greatness? Servant leadership? What about responsibility, integrity, courage? This takes more dedication than the world would have you take on.

I love this quote from Rick Johnson, author of That's My Son, 'The power of a mother's influence is like a steady river carving canyons through the landscape of history. The legacy you leave as the teacher and nurturer of the next generation of men is valuable beyond description.'

Yes, our job is the toughest and the most meaningful. We tuck in the future of the world every night. The question I ask you is: are you ready to accept your divine calling and join a union of mothers dedicated to raising a great generation of strong men? There is a profound call on your life if you are raising a son. Let's form a union of mothers who are dedicated to raising our sons in the image of God and when they are grown they will not depart from it.

Then we can go get that pedicure!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

You know the song but is it a reality in your house?? Moms, we gotta teach our boys (and girls) "a little respect when they get home"! Boys need desperately to be taught to respect women - of all ages. This can be hard to do in a society where all too often women do not respect themselves and their dress code (or lack thereof) reflects that. You get my drift?

Boys need to open doors, carry in the groceries, take out the trash and watch their language. This is not because women are the 'weaker' sex but rather because women, according to GOD, deserve to be honored and cherished. Moms, even your own sons need to honor and cherish you. If they do not honor and cherish their own mothers how can we expect them to honor and cherish their teachers, professors, employers and most importantly, their wives and daughters?

Chris has done a great job of teaching our son, Jack, to honor women. Whenever we are together, Jack opens my car door (yes, at the young age of 10!). As we enter a store, he tells me, "Mom, don't touch that door." He accompanied me to the grocery store a couple of weeks ago. When we reached the car with our basket of groceries, he said, "Mom, you can go ahead and get in, I've got these."

When Jack does this I immediately say, "Jack, that's exactly how a man would act." We've got to put 'manhood' in a positive light. Too often, television/media put 'manhood' in a negative light. Have you heard the phrase, "That's just like a man!" We need to turn that around and show our sons that manhood is something to be proud of.

An unknown author said, "Every gentleman is a man, but not every man is a gentleman." How true. How true. Let's gently but firmly teach our boys to be proud of opening the door for us. Let's be the cheering section when they say, "Yes, ma'am." As courtesy and respect manifest themselves in areas of his life, we'll see them become lifelong habits and someday a young lady will greatly appreciate our investment.

For those of you who have daughters, I hope you are teaching them to only date men who first- love Jesus, and; secondly- have impeccable manners. You would never let your daughter go out with a boy who honks his car in front of your house beckoning her to come out! Never! Moms, our sons will be those boys someday unless we teach them better.

Boys need to not only be taught how to respect women but also how to love them. Talk to your son about what is important to women and what things cause them pain. Teach them to treasure women. Teach them that women are of great value and should be treated with gentleness and respect.

When it comes to the big R-E-S-P-E-C-T, my son knows just 'what it means to me'. He's learning how to 'sock it to me' with incredible manners and love. Let's rock it out together and raise a generation of men who master the lost art of dignity and respect!

Wake Up, Mom!

I'm going to be talking a lot on this blog about raising our sons to be godly men in a very ungodly world. Today I want to start with a wake up call. Mothers, it's time for us to wake up and realize the porn problem facing our boys. Boys at younger and younger ages are being exposed to pornography. We can no longer afford to stick our head in the sand and deny it could ever happen to our son.


Get This:
* In the course of a year, the average adolescent will see nearly 14,000 sexual images.
* Playboy magazine recently announced it will offer galleries of photographs that can be viewed on digital media players. It's to be called "Ibod".
* Porn is also on its way to cell phones. A Boston-based research firm said the mobile adult-services market would reach five billion dollars by 2010.
* 70% of teens get their information about sex from the media.
* When it comes to media access, teens log almost as many hours as the average adult in their full-time job.
* Teens spend over six hours a day engaged with some type of media and more than a quarter of that time they are using more than one media device, it's called "media multitasking".
* Kids' rooms have increasingly become multimedia centers, with 2/3 saying they have televisions in their rooms; half report having video game players; 54% have DVD players and 20% have a computer with internet access IN THEIR ROOMS!
* More than half the children said their families have no rules about watching TV.
* Another 46% say they have rules but 20% say the rules are only inforced "most" of the time.

I could share a lot more bad news but I'm afraid it would be too overwhelming. The truth is, unless we move to a commune in the middle of the wilderness, we cannot completely shield our sons from the world of porn/sexual imagery. I also hate to break it to those of you who homeschool or do Christian school, but your boys are not completely protected either.

What hope do we have? Plenty but we must remember we are still the parent! Here are some suggestions:
* Draw boundaries such as blocking access to MTV
* Do not allow your son to see a movie you have not prescreened. We check out movies on Screenit.com.
* Do not allow your son to watch shows that model worldly dating (even some of the Disney shows are starting to do this as their stars are growing up).
* Do explain to your son the "why" behind the rules.
* Do be purposeful in exposing the agenda of the media.
* Do point to the fallout and long-term consequences associated with it.
* DO NOT let your son get a hold of your Victoria's Secret catalogue or even buy him a Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders calendar. All of this is just soft porn and an introduction to harder things. Also, these things do not help your son to view women as people but rather as objects.
* DO NOT let your son have media in his room...EVER. Help your son by keeping the television and computer in an open and busy place in the house. Do not put the responsibility on him to choose what is right when he's not ready. Make sense?

These stats were taken from Vicki Courtney's book, "Your Boy". I recommend this book as well as Stephen Arterburn's book, "Preparing Your Son for Every Man's Battle".

I know this blog today sounds preachy and very serious but there's no way around it. Too many parents are too lazy or too busy to properly protect their sons. It's having a powerful impact on our society. There is help and there is hope. God is on our side, moms! Let's do it!

Keep Calm and Carry On

It was one of those days. You've had days like this. The weight of the world was resting squarely on my weak, brittle shoulders. My anxiety was focused on this one issue over which I had no control. The more I tried to push it to the back of my mind or shake it off, the more this worry forced it's way into my stomach, churning and wrenching as it went.

Ironically, I was in my happy place - Target, when it struck. Target is my Mecca. It's where I go when I need a little lift. I walk through those red sliding doors, smell that familiar retail store scent, see the "Expect More. Pay Less." catchphrase and I feel... home.

Normally when I go to Target I'm there to get just one or two items. Nothing too sexy, just toilet paper or toothpaste. But what ends up happening every time? I walk out $200 later with that cute top, seasonal decor or those adorable new place mats for the kids. Today, however, was different. Completely determined to go in and get ONLY what I needed, I walked with particular determination.

I went right to the stationary aisle and picked up some thank you cards. I chose the least expensive that were still tasteful but I made the mistake of allowing myself to look around. My eyes glanced longingly at the new summer shorts & T's for my girls, the new 4th of July decorations that would be so cute for our family reunion. I cried out (in my mind, not out loud), "Lord, help!"

This weighty issue I had been trying to avoid, reared it's ugly head. I could hear the enemy's accusations in my ear, "What if God doesn't come through?" "What if He lets you down this time?" As if satan had his own slogan, "Expect NO More. Pray Less."

I could have wallowed in those lies but instead I chose to take them directly to God. Right there in Target I brought my concern to the King of Kings. I confessed to the Lord that I believed He is faithful in all circumstances. I asked Him to help me at this weak moment of worry. You know what happened then?

I was walking through the home decor section when I looked up and there it was. A brightly painted canvas wall hanging that read, "Keep Calm and Carry On." There was even a crown painted at the top as if it came on God's letterhead. I felt my worry melt into peace. As God's Spirit ministered to me in that moment, I sensed God saying, "You made the right choice." Instead of succumbing to the enemies lies, I took my concerns directly to the throne. I chose to confess my shaky faith in a strong and capable God.

Next time the weight of the world is bearing down on your shoulders, even if it's in Target, take it to the Throne of Grace and drop it off. You'll stand a little taller and perhaps you'll hear God say to you, as He did to me, "Keep Calm and Carry On."

Now, where to hang that canvas painting....

Boundary Lines

My son, Jack, has become obsessed with football in the past year. He loves to go in the front yard with my husband, Chris, and play quarterback. There are two things Jack always asks when getting ready to play a game. 1. Where's the football? 2. Where are the boundary lines? It's important to know the boundaries of the playing field so you'll know when you're about to step out of bounds. It's also important so you'll know when you've scored a touchdown.

Our sons crave boundaries. It may seem like they don't, but they do. Have you ever noticed your son and his friends making up new games and they spend half the time deciding what the rules are going to be? Proverbs 29:17 says, "Correct your son, and he will give you rest. Yes, he will be a delight to your soul." Aaaaah, that sounds good, doesn't it? Here's the question of the day: Is your son a delight to your soul? If not, it could be because he's longing for boundaries that you have yet to set or enforce.

When teaching our sons to be accountable, we need to make our expectations clear then establish concrete consequences for not following those expectations. Without clear boundaries and the enforcement of them, our sons can become unaccountable in their adult lives and find themselves in great distress.

Boys need to know they are accountable to parents, teachers, coaches, other adults and to God. Left to their own devices, boys will make up their own set of rules and has anyone read the book, "Lord of the Flies"? Scary! Boys must learn from an early age that mom won't bail them out when they have broken the boundary lines. They must see there are positive and negative consequences for their actions.

An unknown author said, "A child that is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents will not have true respect for anyone." I think deep down we, as mothers, know this is true. Yet we can sometimes struggle with rule enforcement when our precious little boys look up at us with those sweet eyes. Stand strong for the sake of your son!

If you want a son who is truly at peace, then show him clearly where the boundary lines are and blow the whistle when he steps out of those bounds. Soon he'll learn how to play within them and he'll be running straight toward the goal line instead.

Tamara Lowe at Christ Fellowship

A Model of Womanhood

Do you have dreams for your son? As mothers, we all have dreams of what our little boys will become. We imagine what their lives will look like as adults, who they may marry, what kind of fathers they will be. I dream of my son marrying the perfect woman. She will hang on his every word, laugh at all of his jokes, listen carefully when he shares his heart, comfort him when he is down. More than anything else, she will love God with all that she is. She will seek to serve her family in honor to her Savior. Not bad, huh?

As I was enjoying this daydream one morning, God woke me up with this truth: I, as Jack's mother, am the model of womanhood to my son. "WHAT?!", I said to God, "I'm just his mother". I'm here to tell him what to look for in a woman. I'm here to prepare him to be a good and father. How scary to think that I am his introduction to what women are all about!

When Jack is grown and starts to ponder marriage, he'll make a mental inventory of what he's looking for in a wife. I am that first woman against which womanhood is measured. Will he remember a mother who was tender and loving? A mom who made home a happy and peaceful place to be? Or will he, heaven forbid, have memories of a harsh woman who was too busy with her own life to make time for him?

My goal is not to get my son to marry someone just like me. The goal is to leave him with a favorable impression of women. God makes amazing, loving, courageous women in all shapes and sizes. We just want to be sure we place women in a positive light for our sons. We need to show our sons that we enjoy being women.

Boys need to see their moms as women who honor their husbands; nurture their children; and are at peace with themselves and God. I love being a wife and mother. I've got my hard days, no question, but overall I am very grateful for the privilege of these two titles. I want my son to value a woman who also loves family and all the craziness that goes with that.

So dream on, moms. But as you dream, make sure you are living in the reality of the important role you play. "Her children arise and call her blessed..." Proverbs 31:28.